Monthly Archives: September 2005

I should be doing Econ reading but I’m updating instead.  This week’s been good so far.  The set on Sunday went well, I tried to change the playing of the songs, so …. Draw Me Close ended differently… I Stand in Awe of You was faster… things like that.  It was fun.  Had a good dinner that night too (LOBSTERS).


School’s been decent as well.  Some good stuff: I got 100 on my math test!*dances*, XC has been going well, and I’m already done preparing for this Friday’s ACF discussion.  Some not so good things: I got a *gasp* 56 on my Physics test (but I’m not really shocked or sad, so don’t worry), my shoulder’s been being annoying…. and I’ve still go ACF worship to prepare? No, the worship prep isn’t a bad thing.  Oh yes, SATs in 2 weeks is bad


This week has been phenomenal, impressive in how God’s placed stuff in my way.  The two main themes of my ACF discussion (God chose us, and to do that, He gave up His rights) were BOTH found in this week alone!  I already knew the topic, but the verse found me (I swear, it’s in bold in the devo book.  I was stunned) instead of my using BibleGateway to hunt down somethingn about “choice” (altho BibleGateway is awesome)


Spiritually things have been pretty good… Sunday night was kinda bad; got really mad while I was at home.  After that, things’ve been better, I’ve sworn much less and gotten mad much less in general.  Of course, I’m still being distracted.  And it’s getting increasingly more complicated… but I’m still doing all the things I’m supposed to be doing, nothing’s changed, so that’s good as far as I can tell.  Devos have been really good though.  Yeah, really good especially because I’ve found such good stuff in them!


All right, time for 1st period.  Out.


——-


I didn’t notice You were standing here
I didn’t know that
That was YOU holding me
I didn’t notice You were crying too
I didn’t know that
That was You washing my
feet
-David Crowder Band

Blah, what a long week.  Yesterday was all right, classes were fine and so was XC, but I’ve had so much stuff to do.  Whether it’s HW, or ACF prep, or running (that takes up a lotta time..) I’m always busy… or busy trying to NOT be busy you know?  I’m not making sense.  Yesterday’s first ACF meeting went pretty well.  We ended very promptly (due to Saturday classes the next morning) and I led only 4 songs.  We had pizza and played “the west wind blows for..” (that game where you say something [everybody who’s in an AP class!] and everybody has to run around who has that trait) so we got to know each other better.  I had to study econ and physics last night… blah


This morning had my first Econ test (which was long… but ok I guess) followed by a Physics test (it was unintelligble, undoable, unbelievably BLAH).  I’ve got a time trial later today which will *hopefully* go well.  I’ve been doing well this whole week in practice and feeling stronger (finally).  So… since our top 7 are away at an invitational, that leaves me somewhere in the “top” 5 of the time trial which is cool.


This week’s been really busy (like I said) and it’s taken a toll on my walk.  I’m still doing devos every morning and such, and had one particularly good time of prayer, but while I have less of a chance to be attacked by pitfalls and whatnot, it also makes me less spiritually aware since I’ve got so many other things to deal with and distractions.  *sigh* Girls are complicated. blah. it’s not a big deal, but seriously. they are. *dies* (i promise it’s allright)


My language has been going from “good” to “not good” everyday, and I haven’t had as many chances (or the concentration necessary) to pray during the day so much.  But there was something kinda interesting this week.  I was busy worrying (haha, busy worrying…) about tests and 80 pages of history reading and then SATs in 2 weeks in addition to Cross Country and losing my spot and such.  It’s been minorly stressful, the days are filled with anxieties of all sorts.  But I dunno, there was something about knowing that God is teacher and master…. and I somehow arrived that I have to trust Him more, especially with ACF matters.  I worry that the turnout will be really low and… like… having 3 people (of 2 who are core group or something) and things like that.  I worry about if I’m prepared enough.  I worry about the health of my spiritual life; will I mess up the meeting if I’m not right with God? and stuff like that.  So yeah…. that’s another “short-term” (sounds more longterm i guess, but short term as in…. TRUST today) goal.


And…. I finally get to go to church tomorrow (I missed last week).  Have to prepare the set and everything too… but homework this weekend isn’t nearly as vicious as my last couple days.


——-


I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I’ll love you
Forever I’ll stand
Nothing compares
To the promise I have in You
Mark Schultz


Had an OWNAGE run yesterday during XC.  I was super stiff for the first half, but then had a late-race surge and finished with the front group for our 5 miles (a little less actually…) which was sweet.


 


MONDAY was sweet: aside from XC, I only had 3 classes – East Asian, Math & Physics.  I had so much free time .  Good classes, and I definitely got my prayer answered about “God, help my physically… XC is sucking…”  Dinner…. did some ACF prep too…. it was good.


 


Hehehe, I got tagged.  YAY. Surveys are fun!



 


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


 


Currently Reading: Walden by H.D. Thoreau (Engl), New Ideas from Dead Economists (Econ), My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers (devos)


Currently Surfing: Xanga, FACEBOOK!!!!, and PAnet Webspace


Currently Tagged: Angela Lin!


Currently Listening:
(
Please list 5 songs that you’re currently loving. Doesn’t matter what genre, or even if they are good or not. You just gotta love ’em. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs on your xanga, then tag 5 other xanga friends to see what they’re listening to.)


1. Starfield – Filled With Your Glory
2. Rob Thomas – Now Comes the Night
3. Sixpence None the Richer/Jars of Clay – With Every Breath
4. Snow Patrol – Run
5. Starfield –
Cry in My Heart
6. Lifehouse – Butterfly


(like Kathy, I did 6. RAHR)


Currently Tagging: Mike Chou, Jeffrey Yuan, Sarah Dowd, Andrew Yoon, Rose Wang, Amanda Nelson, Eunice Hong, Andrew Hsiao, Becca Johnson… so… do likewise and fill this out. yay


Currently Missing: CGCM!!! (missed this Sunday), ACF (we haven’t even had our first official meeting), the summer I guess?  Some seniors who’ve been good brothers & sisters (Danny Lee for ACF… Jerry for CGCM I guess) that’s about it.


Currently Thinking: I’ve got homework to do including a test tomorrow, but it’s cool because…I’ve been unstressed.  Like, a sense of urgency is helpful, but if you know me at school, you know I can freak out about stuff, overreact, get super-irritable.  I think that the results of Project: Greg are showing through – I’m a lot less psycho, I’m calmer, I’m more patient, less angry, at least less than last year… so that’s kinda cool.


Currently Wanting: to do well on my Math Test? Then do well in my consecutive Econ & Physics tests on SATURDAY! yeah, grrr… wanting lots of people, especially new (so that we can… build up a bigger base again I guess) people, to come to the first official ACF meeting… wanting to be well-prepared and to lead the first meeting well.   Wanting God to help the people I’ve been praying for whether they’re struggling or growing or resisting God or submitting to Him.  Oh yeah, and wanting to continue to run well like yesterday this week in Cross Country, and do well in the Time Trial this Saturday.


=-=-=-=-=-=-


Rightey, back to work now!


 


——


 


And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No you will not be alone then
And you will not be
afraid
No you will not be
afraid
– Rob Thomas

It’s really late Sunday night, and what a week it’s been!  My
schedule change didn’t go through, so that’s really complicated and
everything… we’ll see just how much I can salvage…

Classes have been all right.  Despite my total befuddlement (utter
and total lack of understanding the material….) in Physics, I started
to get it a little more.  We’ll see how long I can stay on
track.  Econ continues to be awesome, and East Asian has the
potential to be very good.  We’ll see how that goes.  English
is all right, even though Thoreau is really dry and really dense. 
Math is good, Mr. Hoenig is a cool teacher.  So my classes are ok,
with the most precarious being Physics.

XC has acted like a stubborn child all week.  Every day I’ve
poured ounce after ounce of energy, effort, focus, even blood! (I had a
blister on my heel that caused  a split.  It’s been taped up
since then and it’s ok now..)  Despite all this effort, I’ve been
flagging daily, feeling weak when I really shouldn’t be.  This
isn’t August anymore! mate…  The time trial today was
tough.  I was 20th (basically, the last guy) before we’d even
entered the Sanctuary.  I will pat myself however for surging
forward and clipping off 3 men somewhere in the woods.  And here’s
the real kicker: I passed 5
guys within the last 300 meters.  Yes.  FIVE.  I went
full speed for only the last 100.  My stomach however was not very
cooperative and as I was turning on the afterburners, it was screaming
at me in every known language and tongue.  Not pleasant.  I’m
taking the day off tomorrow.

Before the time trial, I got up earlier than necessary (people said
that there was breakfast, not brunch… grr) but managed to
finish Econ and English HW.  Had the major ACF board meeting of
the entire YEAR: in it we planned out the basic plan and direction of
the group, how it’s going to be done, and all of that.  It took 2
hours.  Very tiring, but I’m glad that the core group is so
committed.  We accomplished the most important parts of it.

Went to the dance after dinner in Commons.  The gym was soooooo
hot.  It was humid in there cuz of all the people sweating and
everything.  It must’ve been 20 degrees hotter inside.  Crazy
crazy.  It was decent, I had fun for the most part I guess. 
Wasn’t the best, but wasn’t bad in any case.

I’m waiting for my laundry to finish then I’ll put it in the dryer then
sleep.  Had an interesting devo the other day about RENOUNCING
things that distract and derail you from God’s plan.  Whether it’s
a big temptation or a little one, God knows that it adds up.  The
book was saying, “when you face one of those things, just say to
yourself ‘i renounce this in the name of God‘”
not like “rahr i’m the exorcist” but willingly and willfully doing
something to avoid the pitfalls we face everyday.  Renounce
it.  I like that idea.

Time to take care of the wash.

—–

Take my TIME on this earth

Let it glorify all that You are worth

For I have nothing, I have nothing

Without You
-Bebo Norman

First day of classes! YEAH!  Got up for routine 7:15 breakfast
with the crew, then went to this funny event with the Head of School
where we walk up the green lawn and stand on the steps of Sam Phil
(socsci, history & language building) and scream and make
noise it was kinda silly.

First period East Asian History (Modern China) with ANDREW (first time I’ve ever
had a class with him though he’s one of my best friends here @
Andover…) was pretty good except for certain people who add their 2
cents when it’s tactless & unnecessary.  I barely diverted a
pompous “Well I know…” comment from this student when our instructor
asked the New Orleans kids about their situation.  Somebody NOT
from their has NO place, EVER, commenting, especially in a
self-important fashion.  Math was ok, and may switch so that I can
have the English class I want.  Economics was sweet
with Mr. Perry, and I have Sean in my class (XC captain, fellow running
athlete), so hopefully that’ll continue to be good despite the MASSIVE
reading assignments.
AP Physics was…. it’s gonna have to change.  Mrs. Yao is
Chinese, she has an accent, but the worst part is that as a teacher she
slips up and … that just doesn’t work with me.  I’m hoping
that’ll also change as a side effect of my lunch & English
requests.  English with my Coach (Mr. Stableford) was wearying (he
drones often).  The literature in the class is good; I really
liked one story I read today for HW, but if I can get the change I’m
taking it.  Lunch was @ 6th period, which is bad since I run
barely an hour afterwards.

XC practice was murder, mostly because of the lunch evil evil!

Got most of my HW done too… so aside from being tiring and long, it was a good day.

This morning’s devotion was about Surrender
which is a topic I’ve had to face several times personally.  But
the most important spiritual news to report is this: last night I had a
really really really good conversation with a brother in CGC, and we
talked about deep things, about spiritual goals, about why/how the
world has so much chaos even though there’s a loving God.  It was
very encouraging, involving and plain awesome!!!! 
So yay for that.  Pray for me as Club Rally comes up… we need
God’s help to make this publicity “stunt” to really attract people, the
right people, the people who are curious and eager.

But to look back on how far we’ve come… my freshmen year it was one
leader & just one guitar (w/ nylon strings) for worship.  The
year after was even more complicated; one really unready leader and me
as worship leader (still kinda unready in some respects).  But
suddenly last year having 3 main core group leaders with 3 more in
addition.  WE had dynamic discussions, faculty support (where
previously we’d been condemned by the compromising
chaplain) and $$ for things like pizza!  We’ve grown so much, from
like… 4 people EVER to 14 regulars (and then 10 more
semi-regulars).  Personally, through ACF, God’s moved me in ways
I’ve never thought possible, just thinking in terms of topics like “how
would I present this in a discussion or sermon or Bible study? 
What would I say?  Would I use a personal story?”  Having
prayers answered, having a seeker actually come face to face with Jesus
and say yes after searching on his own and following the tugs on his
heart.  It’s just impossible after impossible happening. 
It’s sweet.  So yeah, I’ve “thrown reason overboard” because God
is better than reason.  I plan to follow.

——


Lost for the words to say

I’m left here in disarray

Waiting for You, Waiting on TRUTH

I’ve thrown reason overboard
– Starfield

Today’s been a long day and it’s not even older, but it’s been pretty good.  But as always, yesterday’s events first.


Saturday night (not technically Sunday but bear with) I was up kinda late-ish prepping for Sunday’s worship set… and I came across For the Moments I Feel Faint by Relient K… and had a stirring… so I went with it even though it’s kinda silly and lighter than other songs.


I got up early on Sunday to go running (cuz if I’d stayed at school it woulda been a double session day for XC…) and then went to church.  The worship set went really well!  This week’s set was…
1) Filled With Your Glory by Starfield
2) O Praise Him (All This For a King) by David Crowder Band
3) Blessed Be Your Name, Tree63’s version
4) Let Everything That Has Breath by Matt Redman
5) For the Moments I Feel Faint by Relient K.
I felt like it went really well.  Three people asked me about the songs and for the songfiles & chords when I got back to the dorm, which was very gratifying (knowing that the worship is helping THEM worship God better).  After the service & sermon, ate very little lunch and then had a worship team meeting with the veteran team, which also went really well.  If any of you guys read this, thanks for being open, and for taking the time to talk about it.  We’ve commited to… being more committed!  We plan to be more open with each other, share more with each other, and be more connected and thus effective as a worship team.
As soon as I got back to school I went to XC practice and got the stuffing knocked out of me.  It was “2 miles of speed” which was more like 2.4, so I hit the wall after 2… it really really sucked.  I attribute part of it to lack of food, sleep and water…  Had a the majorly long dorm meeting last night, then had nachos as our munch which was a good end to a good but also tiring day.


Today I had breakfast with the regular breakfast crew at 9am, then had practice at 10:30.  I was lied to again; our “recovery run” was maliciously fast so that hurt and I opted for 4ish instead of the 5.  Lunch was followed by a meeting with Hugon (my adviser) to figure things out in my schedule…ACF Meeting went well, we figured out our plan for the Club Rally and what we’re going to do.  It’ll be sweet  After dinner, I have the Senior Dessert Reception at Mrs. Chase’s house (Head of School) which’ll be fun…. then… I’ve gotta get everything funny for my first day of school!: kinda scary.


—–


I throw up my hands, oh the impossibilities!
Frustrated and tired, where do I
go from here?
Now I’m
searching for the CONFIDENCE I’ve lost so willingly
Overcoming my obstacles is overcoming my fears
– Relient K

Last couple days have been pretty busy around here.  Friday was
our first double session and I really felt it; kinda hurt.  The
morning run was the course (I’m having major issues with remembering
the order of everything and such… and it was only yesterday!) which
was good since I like the course.  Met up with Jen and Kate and
Dowdy and Becca and Kevin for lunch, and had 3:15 practice.  I
opted to take the easier route w/ the majority of the team, letting
Sean & Dave & Hugon take the hard road.

The run was awesome.  Though I was in the easier group, I was
owning it the whole time.  We went up it 3:10, 3:14, then 3:10
again and some of us tougher people wanted to push a little harder…
so we cut 14 seconds from the original time and clocked a smokin’ 2:56
(it’s actually not that fast but for the not-yet-perfect, it’s
good).  I managed to shake the deathgrip of the overeagers… it’s
kinda frustrating, especially when some of them are gunning for spots
(i.e. I have the…. 10th spot or something) and thus they’re
volunteering for the massive 7-mile workout (translation: stupid and
overambitious) and trying to stick up at the front of the workouts the
whole time.  Somebody’s tihnking “well they just want to do
well.”  Some do, but there are a couple in particular who see me
as a benchmark to beat.  Which I dislike.  So our last hill
piece managed to shake some of it off.  Later, Addison
(came from Spring Track and now is doing XC) stuck with me well the
whole time and we opted to do a 5th
piece on Heartbreak (in the Sanctuary) which was good
Aside from the good physical activity… I met up with some other
people for dinner too, then watched some of the Sox games.

Today I didn’t do a whole lot.  Got up for 8:30 breakfast and ate
w/ Andrew (he just got here from HK, so he’s massively jetlagged)
before going for a 10am run with the team.  It was a small group,
it was basically the Vermont crew: Sean, Kentaro, Nate and I… kinda
funny actually.  5 miles out and back through Merrimack College
and stuff.  Ate lunch in the Cage amongst many new people
(freshman especially; it’s their move-in day.  Regular returning
students come back tomorrow) and then watched Assault on Precinct 13
later, which was ok…  I’m getting picked up later to go home,
since my parents are going away next week and I won’t be around for
Church and such.

So onto more important things: spiritually things have been REALLY
great.  I’m getting things organized for ACF.  I was so
productive last night: I did some apps and then organized the current
mail list for ACF members and contacted my co-head about the Club
Rally, at which time our officially recognized club will be able to
advertise (loudly and obnoxiously) along with all the others for
those interested to come to our meetings and put their names down on
the list.  My devos have been really good.  I’ve found that My Utmost for His Highest
is a really good devo book, and a lot of the daily pieces have been
speaking to me in certain important ways, helping me draw connections
or realizing things.  I’ve been praying more too, but I’ll save
that for Sunday’s “mini-sermon” during the worship set.  Speaking
of that, I must finish planning that set!

—–


Cuz I’m a FIRE, I’m a FLOOD

I’m a revolution

I am a war already won

I’m a revolution
-Starfield